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Russian journalist Valeriy Solovey: What Russians don’t like about Ukrainians

Russian journalist Valeriy Solovey: What Russians don’t like about Ukrainians
Translated by: Christine Chraibi

Russian historian and journalist Valeriy Solovey gives a tongue-in-cheek account of what motivates Russian dislike of Ukrainians… or the epitome of Russian propaganda.

  1. Ukrainians never know who will win the election. We, Russians, cannot live with such uncertainty. We always know in advance who will win the election and how key positions will be handed out.
  2. If Ukrainians elect a thief or a corrupt official, they won’t wait for his term of office to end, but will simply bring him down. For Russians, corruption, theft and tyranny are a sacred privilege of the government and what binds the country together. You can’t do anything about it!
  3. Ukrainians want to be in Europe and not in Asia. They don’t know what the Russians know… namely that the rule of law, freedom and human rights, an efficient economy and social state are pernicious lies that can destroy a nation. There’s nothing better for your spiritual well-being than Asiatic despotism!
  4. Ukrainians don’t see anything wrong with working abroad as waiters, mechanics, plumbers or gathering strawberries. They have some kind of retarded belief that any kind of work is honorable. It is not so for Russians. We are a nation of creators, businessmen and showmen!
  5. Ukrainians have failed to develop a productive economy. It’s different in Russia. We managed to raise the price of oil to $120 a barrel, and distributed these funds so carefully that we even beat Venezuela with regard to the quality of life!
  6. Oligarchs have reaped the benefits of Ukrainian labor. In Russia, it’s all done more honestly!
  7. Those despicable Ukrops refused to meet our tanks with fraternal bread and salt. This is a betrayal of the centuries-old friendship between our two peoples!
  8. Ukrainians bury their dead soldiers respectfully and bow to their heroes. Russians quickly hide their graves.
  9. Ukraine stubbornly refuses to succumb to its own mistakes and crimes. The West is helping Ukraine stay afloat.
  10. Ukrainians speak a melodious dialect, which was developed by the pre-WW2 Austrian General Staff and cherish their provincial culture. They don’t want to use strong Russian obscenities and refuse to listen to great Russian pop music.
  11. Every Ukrainian knows the national anthem and sings it with tears in his eyes. Stupid people! It’s just as easy to mouth the words!
  12. Finally, and most importantly as to why we don’t like Ukrainians and will never forgive them. They have shown us and the world that another way is possible. Here and now!
Translated by: Christine Chraibi
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