A week ago, I wrote the post “Morning Thoughts”, in which I said, even if we don’t have a full scale war, I will never, until the end of my days, forgive the fear I was forced to feel by those bastards that were directly connected to the military invasion by Russia of the territory of Ukraine. Also those who “mentally support” this idea, “are not against”, “there’s no smoke without fire”, “government knows best”, “time to end those banderites” and “Crimea was always and will always be Russian”.
Now I added some more notches.
I will never in my life forgive all of the above for the screwed up evening two days ago.
Three of us were sitting in one of the cafes in the center of Kyiv. On Khreshchatyk, which has lost its romantic Zaporizhska Sich charm and started to resemble a military camp. I was sinning against the night and eating cake. Drinking tea. Green tea, with mint. And in this entourage we discussed what will we do, starting with next week.
Not “Oh horror, horror, divisions of Russian cannibals are on the way!” Concretely and precisely. What is the point of no return, after which our plan B is set into motion. How many people in our “group”? Which direction do we evacuate in? What’s the most baggage/money we can have with us? Took them off the card, they’re here. Documents? Here. Who can we theoretically stay with in the area we are going to? Ok, listed everyone. My mom is in Mykolayiv, 70 km from the place where the Russians dug in border pillars. If something happens, I won’t be able to go there to get her. So, I’d need to call her and give her directions – where to move and where we will meet.
“Guys, are we seriously discussing this?” at some point I shook my head, “Pinch me. We are seriously sitting in Kyiv, the capital of the biggest country in Europe, in the 21st fucking century, and discussing what to do in the event of a terror attack, shellings and blocking of major highways?!”
“Well, we’re not just overreacting. We are simply developing a plan of action for a force-majeur situation. A bit more than two weeks ago, we were walking here and saying, “this is a scary dream, this can’t be”. If the scary dream develops logically, we simply won’t have time to walk around and try to believe it. If we don’t need it, great. If we need it, we’ll save time in the chaos”.
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I will not forgive neither the Russian elite nor any person (Russian or Ukrainian) who now, either from folly or bad intentions, happily supports troops being brought in, or (consequentially) waits for Crimea to go under the wing of the most caring and fair father of the nation:
… that my head is full of new facts. When you are down and being beaten, fall on the right side to protect your liver. And shield your temples with your fists. When there’s a shooting, you can’t hide behind walls, but should hide in any hollow or recess. Why did I need to know this?!
…that now many Kyivan medical courses begin with the primary “how to tell if a person is alive or dead”
…that in reply to my mom’s saying that she was missing my dad, with whom she could have discussed the situation and find protection, I said, “well at least you…”. And faltered. But she continued for me – “yes, at least I don’t sit and think – what if he goes to war and gets killed”
…that similar thoughts about the likely evacuation, like in that evening cafe, I see in my Ukrainian thread. I hear this from all my friends and acquaintances from all of Ukraine. Collected, businesslike. And this completely takes away the comforting illusion that I just went crazy, being hysterical, making stuff up.
…that I am writing this post under the tag everyday stuff.
There can be no half tones here. In our lives, because of you “supporters”, all halftones have vanished.
Now there is only “yes” and “no” for us.
And also – correctly defining the point of no return.
Damn you.
By zabavakrasava, translated by Anna Shvets
Edited Janet Taylor and Alya Shandra
