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Russian blood, urine, and lies

Russian blood, urine, and lies
Translated by: Anna Mostovych

The counterfeit athletes are just a part of Russia’s giant machinery of falsification.

The same thing is true of Russian urine as of Russian oil. Everyone  knows that the price of Russian grades — the Ural brands — is lower than the price of the higher quality Brent brands. But for some reason, people use the price of Brent as the basis for their calculations, deliberately substituting it both for the true quality and the true value of Russian oil.

The urine of Russian athletes also appears not to differ in any way from the urine of their rivals from other sports teams. However, it is the same complex chemical mixture as the Urals oil. There is not much high quality crude oil in the Urals oil, but it can be sold and the profits used to pay for the preparation of “honest” urine which does not have much urine at all.

What is most noteworthy about the Russian reaction to the IOC’s decision is not that that the decision was finally adopted. Before the Rio games the committee lacked courage but had sufficient audacity to accept the counterfeit urine at the games. What was noteworthy was the fact that this decision, which the committee could no longer avoid in the face of a total Russian forgery, was perceived as a conspiracy against Russia and an attempt to “humiliate” and “undermine” Russia.

But no, this was not a plot against Russia. It was a plot organized by Russia. First in Sochi, when they cheated with urine. Then in  Crimea, when they cheated with “polite green men” and the “referendum.” Then in the Donbas, when they cheated with “protests” and “volunteers.” This is why it is useless to pretend, as certain Russian athletes do when they tell us that it is all the responsibility of the psychopath Rodchenkov (former head of Moscow’s anti-doping laboratory — Ed.), and that they simply urinated into test tubes. No, all this urine belongs to the state.

In Russia everyone is well aware that the fake athletes are only part of the machinery of falsification. And they are not divided into the “clean” and the “tainted” but rather into those who got caught and those who avoided exposure. However, the Olympics had been won.

In Russia everyone knows perfectly well there was no “return of Crimea to its native harbor” but there was occupation and annexation. However “Crimea is ours” (“Krymnash”). Everyone in Russia knows perfectly well there was no “Russian spring,” but there were saboteurs in the Donbas and they succeeded in destabilizing Ukraine and “punishing the khokhols for Maidan (“khokhol” is a Russian pejorative term for Ukrainians — Ed.).

Russia bathes in the lies, blood, and urine as if they were nectar and ambrosia. However, the rest of the world can see that these are lies, blood, and urine. Even those who would like to shut their eyes and believe in nectar and ambrosia can see it. This is why it is no longer possible not to see it because the drops of blood and urine are now visible on the jackets of Western officials and politicians and they, too, are beginning to emit the odor of Russian excrements worldwide. It is this stench that is the main reason there will be no Russian flag at the Olympics.

Translated by: Anna Mostovych
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