April 1, 2015. “Tchaikovsky had right idea for cannons in his 1812 Overture – but still not noisy enough”, boasted conductor Valery Gergiev. “We now protect Russian culture in Donetsk with 90 mm pig iron armor-plating from Magnitogorsk, 85 mm ZiS-53 main gun and twin 7.62 machine guns. Met Opera is nothing compared to Donetsk. We always had more balalaikas and now: loudest percussion in world. Ka-boom!”
Sources: http://rt.com/news/ – RT (Red Trash) and NY Thymes (4/1/15)

Following the example of Anna Netrebko’s one million ruble “gift”, 511 Russian artists who signed declaration supporting Putin’s wars in Crimea/ Ukraine purchased the vintage WWII tank from a chicken farmer near Kursk. When not in use for climax of “Brünnhilde’s Immolation” scene, the T-34 will defend Donetsk Opera House against CIA inspired-fascist-homosexual-neo-Nazi juntas. During off-season, local separatist vendors will hang sausages on the tank barrel.


Opera was appropriated for politics in 1943 when German occupiers enjoyed “Die Fledermaus” at Donetsk. In 2015, the same Donetsk Opera Theater performed Fledermaus for the occupying “separatists”.

